Here are some ideas to help you get started with what to say…

1. I love you...

• Every moment, including all the times I didn’t actually say it or act that way.
• I love you for the way you made me laugh, for the adventures we had, for the memories we shared, for just being there.
• My love for you will always remain – I will always love you.

2. I would like to share with you…

• My hopes and dreams for you…
• My hopes and dreams for the future…
• My thoughts on the meaning of life…
• My philosophy on life…
• My passwords, user names and account numbers…

3. I’m proud of you for…

• Who you are and what you become no matter what you do.
• The special things you will accomplish in the future.
• I am proud that I could call you “friend” (or son, daughter, wife, husband, etc.).
• The way you love and focus on others and always put their needs before your own.

4. What I appreciate most about you is…

• Your thoughtfulness, kindness, selflessness and integrity.
• You loved me when I was unlovable.
• How you take care of our children.
• Your zest and passion for life.
• Your [fun, sarcastic, disturbing, bizarre, wacky] sense of humor!
• Your sensitivity and the way you put others first.

5. Thank you for…

• Giving my life purpose and joy.
• For being my spouse, friend, mentor or any other relationship you are thankful for.
• Our children and our beautiful family.
• The way you were always there for me no matter what the circumstance.

6. Remember…

• That special holiday moment we shared?
• When we were kids and how much fun we had?
• When the cops pulled us over for shooting fireworks out of a moving car?
• That road trip we took?
• That secret we shared? I took it to my death… literally.
• Children – strive to be the best you can.
• To always find the silver lining (give advice).
• To always be grateful.
• When you saved the day by…
• When you changed the future of your company…

7. Congratulations on…

• Your life’s achievements. First steps, riding a bicycle, straight A’s, promotion, business success, etc.
• Either big or small events – congratulations are always in order!
• Overcoming challenges – including the amazing life you’re living without a (father, mother) around.
• (If you have young children, you can offer future congratulations on their first job, first kiss, graduation, marriage, children, and more.)

8. Please forgive me for…

• Things I have said or done that caused you pain.
• Not being a good communicator.
• Not letting you know how much I appreciated you (spouse, children, friends, or co-workers).
• My past failures that may have affected you, such as…
• Not telling you about my illness, diagnosis and/or prognosis.

9. I am sorry for…

• Leaving this world without you.
• Leaving you to raise our children alone.
• All of our future plans that are not going to happen together.
• The emotional toil my passing has put you through.

10. I trust you with…

• Raising our children to be amazing adults.
• Making good financial decisions for our family, business, etc.
• Doing your best in life with its myriad challenges.
• Living responsibly, but also following your dreams wherever they may take you.
• Carrying on the family [sauce, casserole, dessert, guacamole] recipe!

11. Remember to…

• Celebrate the life we shared, the memories we created and all the good times we had together.
• There is no set timeline for grieving. Everybody handles these things differently. Take your time.
• Focus on the good things in life and look forward to the future even as you mourn my death.
• Pass on the family history/legacy.

12. It’s ok...

• For you to remarry.
• To feel upset/angry/sad.
• To be happy.
• To be relieved.

13. I always hoped you would…

• Take over the family business.
• Use your talents to make the world a better place.

14. Goodbye to…

• Family, friends, or co-workers.
• Your fur babies.
• Your “favorite” places. For example, the mountains, the beach, your favorite restaurant or your favorite park.
• For now but only for a little while, for because I know we will meet again in heaven.